Change

I was described at work today by a coworker as a free bird....she said, "For goodness sake you picked up and moved to France for 3 months!" and it's true...after being home for about 3 or 4 months I was feeling the need to get out, to go somewhere...to have an adventure...and that feeling hasn't left me....in fact, it just keeps growing. I feel as if the spontaneity is being sucked out of me and my life. That is the one aspect of college life that I miss...the ease with which you just jumped into anything and everything, not caring about sleep or health...and then it was always easier because you had multiple friends that all lived right there to take the leap with you...now it's down to just a few friends, none of which live within 10 minutes of me and even if they did it wouldn't much matter because our schedules always clash and we're always all so busy with our big, grown up lives....going to school, working our 40 hours a week, running errands, doing laundry....what happened to having fun and enjoying life?! How can life change so much in just 8 short months...I went from maybe getting 5 hrs of sleep a night, doing my grocery shopping anytime after 9 or 10 pm, having unending energy, always going out and doing stuff, hanging out with friends...and I feel like I had a tighter schedule then: 25 hrs of work, 21 college credits, piano lessons and practice time, church, homework.... Now I have to get 8 hrs of sleep or I'm really tired and/or get sick if the trend of not getting 8 hrs continues for several nights, if I go out and do something with friends it's a rare occasion, running to Target is actually a highlight of my day, after I get home from work I don't have the energy or drive to go do anything...I feel like the life is being sucked out of me...if this is what being an adult is then I'm on the first train to Never-never-land. I do enjoy knowing that I am responsible and self-sufficient, that I can take care of and support myself. I do love my job...but it all makes me feel so constrained and restricted...like I don't have time to truly enjoy myself. On my days off, if they aren't consumed with chores and errands, I sit around wondering what in the world I am going to do with myself because there's no one to hang out with cuz they're all working or at school and there's no where to go and nothing to do all by yourself....so then I feel like I've wasted a day....I've said it in my last 2 blogs but ever since the new year I've felt this sense of anticipation and excitement...like something is about to happen, like there's going to be a change...and I'd welcome it, I just don't know what it is! I crave adventure and spontaneity, for possibly the first time in my life I am kind of craving change. But I don't know what kind of change. Maybe it's just the restless wanderer within needing to get out and go....it makes sense that after being home for only 3 or 4 months I was ready to go somewhere...in the past 3 years the longest I've been home is 2, maybe 2 1/2 months at once because of school. Maybe it's the need for change and adventure that has led me to car shopping online :) Who knows if it will happen but I sat down with my dad and found a few prospects! Then I will own my very own car...and my parents can have the one they gave me back!...which will make their lives a lot easier...and then I won't feel like a burden to them (which is a feeling that I positively despise!) I know that I'm not a burden to them, but I hate that I'm racking up the miles on this car and using it all the time and then they pay for repairs and oil changes...if I paid for the car then I would pay for repairs and while I'm not looking forward to spending that extra money, at least I won't feel like I'm and extra load on my parents! We'll see what comes of this car hunt...I don't know, maybe it's just a need to feel independent...that has always been a strength taken to excess with me.. I am independent, but then I push my independence to it's limits sometimes...I push for more, I try to be more independent and self-sufficient than I need to be...which isn't always a bad thing, but it isn't always a good thing either. Oh well, I suppose that's all a part of finding your wings and growing up ;) Maybe this craving for fun and adventure will be solved after I go to Indiana in a week and a half! We will just have to wait and see!

All grown up

I know that I am becoming a responsible adult because: staying up past 10:30 pm is late and definitely past my bedtime, sleeping in means sleeping until 8:30 am (9 at the absolute latest), my day off is consumed with doing laundry, cleaning and running errands, I no longer really have a social life (sadness), I have multiple bills to pay on a monthly basis, I complain about gas prices and how often I have to fill my tank, I work a 40 hr work week, work has basically become/consumed my life, when I'm out and I see high schoolers I can no longer even remotely relate and find them rather immature and annoying most of the time, I no longer live in the present but think about how everything can affect the future, I am becoming stingy with money, I plan my own trips and  vacations, I pay rent, and the list goes on..... and when I was little I couldn't wait to grow up....what was wrong with me!? Lol! No, it might not be all fun, games and play time but I definitely enjoy the freedom and the responsibility...I like knowing that I can pay for all of my own necessities and don't have to rely on my poor parents for everything! (I'm sure they enjoy and appreciate that as well lol!) Do I still sometimes feel and act like a kid again....oh most definitely :) I am still daddy's little girl and the baby of the family....and those things will never change :) In other news I have 2 new men in my life...their names are Prince and Presley... aka my 2 new betta fishies! Prince is so named because he is mostly white and purple with the purple changing to a deep blue at the ends...so upon seeing him he was named Prince and I sing "Purple Rain" to him almost every day :) Presley is a gorgeous blue going into green, so he's a sparkly little aqua looking guy... Natalie helped me name him but it's very fitting because when I think of Elvis I think of sequins and sparkles....so it works lol! It's so hard to get a good pic of them so I don't have any yet...but hopefully soon you will be able to see them! Sadie had to give them a good sniff down when I first brought them home...she's not quite sure about fish and she never has been....Presley is sitting on a lower piece of furniture than Prince so hopefully she doesn't try to eat him or  anything like that! (see I told you I'm becoming a responsible adult...getting 2 new fish is the exciting news in my life) But for real...I can't wait for it to be 2 weeks from now because then I'm going to Indy for Live Recording and I can't wait to see all of my friends!!!!! Last night was my first night of French classes at Alliance Francaise! I was nervous like a kid at their first day of kindergarten but it went well and I actually answered several questions and had to talk in French and I didn't completely fail, so that's a plus! It's a small class, just 6 girls and the teacher is a guy...poor man....I think it'll be fun and good for me! So next time I go to France to visit everyone I'll actually be able to speak to them in French without chickening out! yay me! :) I'm off to get ready for work .... au revoir!  

Happy New Year!

Maybe it's cuz it's the new year but I feel the need for change and adventure...I'm feeling risky....and I like it...now what kind of risk do I want to take?! What kind of change and/or adventure do I want to embark on!? 2011 was definitely one of the best years of my life. I graduated from college, Indiana Bible College to be exact, with a BA in Music and did something I didn't think I could...I graduated with a 4.0 GPA and was valedictorian (I also didn't think I would survive my speech lol!)...I'm not trying to brag or be like hey look at me, I'm smart, cuz it has nothing to do with that...I worked my butt off and did my absolute best and was still scared I wasn't gonna make it...but thank God I did! Besides that wonderful bit of 2011, I also got to spend 3 of the most wonderful months of my life living in France, surrounded by people I grew to love and respect. Those short 3 months were completely life changing and revolutionary. I will always have France running through my veins. And then there's just the regular having a good job working with people I like doing something I love and living with the best family I could ask for and going to the best church I've ever been in....yeah 2011 had it's rough spots and not so happy moments but the good so far outweighs the bad. And even though 2011 was such a great year...I just can't shake this feeling that 2012 is going to be even better!!! I can't even figure out how that is possible! I'm heading back to school in a round about sort of way next week...I will be going to the Minneapolis branch of Alliance Francaise, a French school based out of Paris. I will be taking a class one day a week for French....I can't wait to be completely fluent...I can already understand everything and can read most of it, I just need to gain confidence and more knowledge for the speaking and writing portion :P it's a bittersweet beginning...I'm excited to get back into learning French but that means one more thing to add to my already full schedule, but I know in the end it's gonna be worth it. I don't know when and if I'll be going back to France in the near future but I can tell  you this, the language and culture will be something that will go with me everywhere and be with me always. I love it. Every little part of it. Maybe my first new change/risk other than going back to school will be jumping into the world of Apple... :) Tomorrow I have to go get my phone checked out cuz it's been acting up and if it's not fixable or if it's gonna be expensive to fix I'm just gonna get the iPhone 4...which I wouldn't mind too terribly much ;) Thank goodness I made some decent money over the holidays! Well I must say goodnight lest I fall asleep at my laptop typing...which would be rather uncomfortable and challenging....so farewell and Happy New Year!

The art of waking up

So I got about 10 hrs of sleep last night...and I wake up with a headache and big, dark circles under my eyes....how does this happen!??! Today is when I'm suppose to wake up refreshed and looking half way decent! So to remedy those problems I actually did my hair so that I wouldn't look completely terrible and then decided to take the dog on a walk so she won't be too mad when I leave for work and she's home alone for a few hours....I hadn't looked at the temperature for the day yet, but didn't feel like being cold for half an hour so I decided to break my winter coat out for the first time this year. So I get myself and the dog ready and we go outside and the cold air hits me like a brick wall....now that's how you wake yourself up! The first few breaths I took were those good deep ones when the cold air burns your lungs :) and I could see my breath every time I breathed out. My nose and ears quickly went numb and my hands stayed in my coat pockets the whole walk. A few minutes into the walk I decided to check the temp on my phone...and at 9 a.m. it was still only 25 degrees out!! I am glad that I didn't just wear my hoody like I'd planned lol! And while it might sound like I'm complaining about this experience I'm not at all...I love this weather and it woke me up nice and fast! I loved that I was walking through leaves and the ground was still covered in frost and the wind had that nice, cold bite to it! Now if it would just hurry up and snow!!! I want it to snow SO bad! The first thing I did upon arriving home was put a mug of water into the microwave for a cup of hot, mint tea, which I am currently enjoying as I write this blog :)

So the moral of the story is that while this morning started out kind of terrible it has slowly but surely improved and I am now wide awake, still have a slight head ache, but am in a much better mood...which is also partly due to my super cute doggie that comes running into my room when I wake up and cuddles with me and gives me good morning kisses...that animal is my life... and I wouldn't want it any other way! :) So I'm really contemplating working some serious overtime this holiday season....we're allowed to work overtime and so I'm debating working either 10 hour days on the 5 days a week that I work or working 6 days a week....maybe not every week but some weeks....cuz this month has been really slow at work so none of us are making a lot of money right now but we always get slammed and get crazy around the holidays so they need us to work more...so I could just make bank for about a month and a half and stick a bunch of it in savings and buy everyone nice Christmas presents!! ....and maybe lose my sanity doing it....but I never had much of that to begin with anyways... ;) I have wanted to go ice skating so bad the past few weeks!! I really want to go to the Minneapolis Depot, downtown Minneapolis and go ice skating...it's the best indoor place to go ice skating! I'm procrastinating getting ready for work and making phone calls right now...sadly I'm running out of time to procrastinate :P ..... and my stomach and growling at me and telling me how hungry it is...and a Starbucks breakfast sandwich keeps sounding more and more amazing...and so does a peppermint mocha....I shouldn't spend the money....oh man this is a tough call....where is my sister for intervention when I need her!? Oh yeah, she's working at Starbucks...maybe that's a sign that I should go there.... ;)

All things Christmas and random

So the other day me and a friend (who will remain nameless to protect the innocent) were talking and she was saying how right now would be a good time to have a boyfriend since another guy isn't quite getting the hint that she isn't interested...and he is....So I was of course trying to add to the conversation and said "Yeah, I could use a boyfriend too.... to....buy me cute, fuzzy teddy bears!" At which point my friend started laughing really hard and says, "Forget the teddy bears, what about dinner!" To which I quickly replied "Oh yea! Dinner...and teddy bears!!!" :) So there is my current logic for "needing" a boyfriend...at least the logic that I could come up with in a 2 second span lol! Speaking of boys...and beautiful ones at that....all I've been listening to since Monday is Michael Buble's new Christmas cd....it's beyond wonderful! He has an original song on there called "Cold December Night" and it's definitely one of my favorites! He writes the best songs...and this one is no exception...he wrote the most genius lyric EVER! It's on the bridge of the song and he says "They call it the season of giving, I'm here and yours for the taking (repeat), so kiss me on this cold, December night..." GENIUS! Why has no one ever thought of that before!?!?!?! Every time I hear it I get a big smile on my face because the amazingness of the lyric hits me every single time. Brilliant. And now speaking of Christmas.... I put my tree up in my room last night! :) It's my little 4 footer...but I love it :) It just has the lights and tinsel on it because I need to get some new ornaments to better match my bedroom here so I'm waiting til I have all of my ornaments to decorate it so that I don't have to rearrange and take stuff off....so it needs to be Nov. 1 so that all of the Halloween stuff will be gone and all of the Christmas stuff will be out cuz no one has their ornaments out yet :P I'm actually writing this sitting on my floor next to my lit up tree, while Christmas music plays and a pine scented candle burns in my room...pure bliss...now if it would just hurry up and snow!!! I want snow sooooo bad and NY and the rest of the East Coast got a bunch of it today...and I'm extremely bitter and jealous :P I also want a gingerbread latte...I've been craving one for at least a week now...another good reason for November to hurry up and get here! The other night I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep and thinking of how adulthood isn't all that it's cracked up to be...and I could only think of about 3 good things about being an adult...I will share those with you now: 1. On a rare occasion you have money to buy yourself something nice, 2. You can drive yourself where ever you want to go and 3. You don't get grounded for saying rude things to people...I'm sure there are many more perks to being an adult than that...but late at night and half asleep that was all I could come up with...so there you have it. I love DSW because they always have fabulous shoes and a rewards program but the problem is that since I'm enrolled in their rewards program I keep getting all of these fabulous coupons and deals and it makes me feel like I MUST take advantage of the coupon and/or deal and go buy another pair of shoes!!! This is simply unfair...especially since I shouldn't spend money...so I am currently exercising great self control and NOT using my 2nd $10 off coupon that they sent me.... yes that means that I used the first one, BUT I did need a new pair of brown flats, so it was used out of necessity. See I was able to justify it...and now I have a fabulous, new pair of brown flats :) being a girl is so wonderful sometimes....most of the time it's just awful, but times like that it's pretty grand ;) So I'm trying to decide if I just want to stick with bulb and snowflake ornaments for my tree or if I want to try to find silver Eiffel Tower ornaments and use those too to go with the Paris theme in my room.....hmmmmmm......decisions.....oh boy I need to go write my Christmas list so that my family can buy me wonderful presents ;) For once I'm having an extremely hard time writing a Christmas list...this never happens to me! I'm the kid  that wrote the 10 page, size 8 font Christmas list! (No joke, ask my siblings...they still make fun of me for it to this day.... *sigh*)

Welcome back Abby :)

I'm baaaaaccccckkkkkk!!!!! :) Hello from Abby and Sadie! It's been a long time...and soooo much has happened but I'm not even about to rehash the 3 most amazing months of my life that I spent in France...you can read my other blog to find out about those...but now that I'm back home and back into the groove of things I'm feeling more and more Christmassy every day! (You knew this was coming sooner or later...it's fall and when fall comes Abby gets obsessed with Christmas) This really has been one of the nicest falls we've had in a while. And while fall is my favorite season, Christmas is my favorite holiday with winter being a close second for my favorite season...sooooo I've decided that all I really want to do this winter is go on my first ever for real sleigh ride. Not one of those "sleigh rides" where you are pulled in a hay-filled wagon by a couple horses...that's a hayride. I want to go on a for real sleigh ride! I've wanted to ever since I was a little girl (dream inspired by Little House on the Prairie books lol)....sadly  it's never happened :( I want to go on one and get to sit in the sleigh, low to the ground with a big, warm fuzzy blanket over me and a horse or 2 pulling me across the beautiful white snow! *sigh* hopefully this dream will come true one winter of my life....
So the other day I was wishing I was one of those beautiful, rich girls with the fabulous wardrobe, lots of friends and the beautiful boy friend.....until I quickly realized that if I was that girl, everyone would simply love me because of my looks and my money...that having that fabulous wardrobe would mean having waaaayyyy too many choices every morning...so I have since then decided to be content with being normal, average me...that way I am guaranteed that my friends love me for quirky old me...according to all of my family and friends my wardrobe is already big enough ;) and whenever that beautiful boyfriend does eventually come along he won't just like me cuz I have a pretty face or a lot of money...but he'll like me for me....weirdness and all :) So this is the face that I make to all of you people out there striving to be Barbie doll or some other ridiculous, unattainable person :P Jesus wouldn't have made you if He didn't like you. So there.
Have I ever mentioned that the N'Sync Christmas cd makes me smile no matter what?!
I have been on a rather creative kick lately and am embroidering robots on my t-shirts....and now on a t-shirt for my manager cuz she loved mine, and my mom wants Christmas themed dish towels for her kitchen so if I can ever find Christmas transfers I'll be making her those too....I always feel like an old lady whenever I say that I embroider lol! So it's always been one of my little secrets that I never share cause people are like "You do what?!..." They just don't know that it actually means you can make your clothes look way cooler by putting things like robots on them :)
I bought new comforters for my 2 twin beds in my room...now I can get rid of my striped comforters that look like they belong in a 12 yr old boy's room....which I can't say much about since I did pick them out....granted that was 6 years ago and at the time they were one of the few blue and brown options out there...I guess that's what happens when a girl makes her room colors that are commonly thought of as "boy colors"...that's just sexist. So now I'll just go to JoAnn's and buy pretty blue and brown fabric and make covers for the white comforters that I just bought! Look at me being all crafty! Who knew!?
Well as fun as writing a new blog has been I'm completely exhausted and about to just die right here on my bedroom floor...which would be tragic...then I'd never get to enjoy my new comforters....or any more N'Sync Christmas music...or go on that sleigh ride that I've been dreaming of for years....or eat more chocolate....ok for real I'm going to bed. Good night world.

My last full day in America

So today was my last full day in America...I fly out tomorrow for France, where I will live for 3 months....this is a bittersweet thing. I will miss my family and my poor dog who will not understand why I have left here and will therefore be the saddest one of all (which utterly breaks my heart...no joke) She has been sad ever since she saw my suitcases come out yesterday :( I wish I could just take her with me! The whole thing still seems unreal...it hasn't really hit me yet that I really am flying out tomorrow...I thought this day would never come it just always seemed so far away. But I prepared myself for being bereft of American food...I ate hot dogs today, for dinner we had grilled chicken, baked beans, grilled corn on the cob and salad, I had a Rolo McFlurry from McDonalds and then to end the day I had none other than Taco Bell for my fourth meal ;) My first time eating Taco Bell since I left school and it sure tasted good :) I had to get my fill of it before I left...3 months without greasy, cheap Mexican food is a long time...lol! I hate that I can't take my phone with me...I'm going to be lost without it...I'll have a phone, but it won't be my phone and I won't be able to talk to or text my friends from it because it's just gonna be a pay-as-you-go phone that I'll just use for contacting people in France prolly. Thank God for Skype! It's funny how attached we get to our little electronics...I mean what will I do without Facebook readily accessible to me every second of the day!? lol! I had the dreaded revelation the other night in the shower that I will have to cook for myself for 3 whole months! I don't hate cooking, but I don't exactly LOVE it either. I like to do it, but not necessarily every single day...and besides I've been at school for 3 yrs now and haven't exactly gotten to hone my cooking skills. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fabulous cook, but I only have a couple recipes actually memorized and I don't know how accessible all of the ingredients we use here in America will be in France...or how expensive...so we will see how this excursion goes. I really don't mind cooking it's just a daunting thought....you better believe I will be spending a lot of time on Bon Appetite's website finding new recipes to try so I don't get bored with my food! lol! Well I gotta get some sleep so I can tackle all of the last minute projects before flying out tomorrow afternoon! I shall try to keep you updated! Au Revoir!