Tuesday, March 1, 2011
My Revelatory Day
Sometimes you don't always get what you want in life...and sometimes that's ok...well, it might not feel that ok at the time, but even while you're hurting or upset about it you know deep down that it is actually for the best and that in the end it will be more than ok because better things are on the horizon. And then other times the only reason why you feel like the world is coming to an end is because you are really just waaayyyyy over tired and stressed out and therefore everything gets blown completely out of proportion and seems like a way bigger deal than it is. So that is my deep insight on life for the moment: the fact that I will survive without some things and that my self worth is not dependent on others opinions and/or feelings about me. Jesus loves me and that's all that matters...ok that's all that should matter, but I'm human so I don't really believe what I just said, because I actually kinda hate how much it matters whether or not other people love me (but only the people I'm close to...if we're not friends I honestly couldn't care less about what you think of me...sorry to be so honest.) This weather is completely bipolar and is making me lose my voice again...which can't happen right before Music Fest (which is 2 weeks away!!) because Lord knows that I'm going to be butchering it for 3 nights in a row....not to mention in all of the practices that we have beforehand. It really hit me yesterday and today that I really am graduating in 2 months! This revelation is probably due to the fact that I am having to figure EVERYTHING out for my Sr Recital (stress levels just skyrocketed at the typing of those 2 words)....which is in 1 month and 1 week (and here comes the mini heart attack). And with the month of March beginning today I realized that my graduation is in 2 months and 5 days. I can't believe that it's really all coming to an end. I have soooooooooo much stuff to do still....I might die before I ever get to graduate! I need another bag of Cadbury eggs to combat all of this craziness in my life....or I just might want another bag of Cadbury eggs because they're just so delicious....yeah that might be it....but I'm beasting it on the French horn in Brass and Woodwinds class! I need to sleep. My to-do list was an entire notebook page long...I think I have accomplished between one third and half of it...tomorrow it must be conquered! I also realized today that in 4 months I will be in France....which will be "just like heaven! Just like heaven on earth!" I will be able to eat amazing food everyday and drink deliciously strong espresso... *sigh* it shall be glorious! Today has just been a revelatory day apparently. I also wanted to go shopping today because it was rather spring-ish out today and I always get the urge to go shopping in the spring time...must be some weird sense that is built into a girl...she must have new clothes for the summer! ....especially if your summer is going to be spent in France! =D (Natalie is probably dying right now and giving a speech on how I don't need to get another piece of clothing for 3 years because I have enough to clothe a small village....) Options are of the necessity. Besides, if I am to fall in love in France as everyone has predicted (I, myself, am not holding out for this...it sounds way too good to be true) I clearly must look cute....oh dear...that means I'll actually have to do my hair while I'm there....ugh. Hmmm....or I will stuff my sister in my suitcase and keep her with me at all times to be my personal hairdresser!!! Brilliant! On that happy note I shall go to bed. Bonsoir!