This one is from sometime late August or September of 2010, written in my dorm room at IBC.
Sometimes I want to throw things across the room.....in pure rage........ because they are not working for absolutely no reason. Sometimes life gives you lemons and you don’t even want lemonade...then what do you do? What do you do when everything seems to be going against you and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel? Do you just take a flashlight and fake it? Or do you just pretend to see something faint and distant ahead.... does lying to yourself really ever get you anywhere? Why the junk will my computer not connect to the internet?! It makes me want to say horrible things...good thing there’s no one around to witness my ugly faces that I make at this computer....they might be slightly disturbed....and they should be....sometimes there’s just something about me that’s not quite right...like when I make ugly faces that make me look like I have a cleft lip...seriously, nobody else is that talented. What makes grapes taste so incredibly delicious...is it the crispness when you bite into one or the coolness and refreshing that you get while eating them? Is it their slightly sweet taste?....or a combo of them all? I never knew grapes could be so intriguing...I should prolly go to bed cause I have an 8:00 a.m. class tomorrow morning and a full day too :P But I am comfortable here on my futon and want to eat some grapes....and look! My computer is actually working!!! Praise be to Jehovah!!! How did it happen? I don’t know. I looked over there and finally saw the light on the converter box and the laptop on....now if I could just get the blasted thing to connect to the Internet...prolly no hope there :P It makes me hate my life. Why must it be such a pain in the butt!? I love air conditioning even if it doesn’t do as much as I wish it would. It’s doing the best it can with 90 degree days with the sun beating into my room and turning it into a toaster oven/sauna. And my roommate must have the drapes partially open so that her plants can get sunlight... Does she not know that those things die when I’m around?! I just have an aura about me that kills them I think >:} Why that makes me kinda happy, I don’t know....but it does in a sadistic kind of way. Tomorrow I will eat the greatest food invention in a long time....the personal, seedless watermelon!!!!!!! I’m very excited about this! I want to make sure that I eat it before it starts going bad. Have I mentioned how much I love fruit?! I ate a delicious plum like 20 minutes ago =) Alas I must climb into my tower...which is prolly a good 7 feet off the ground...pray to God that I never fall from my tower...or I just might have a busted brain....and my poor brain cannot sustain any more injuries, as the doctor was so kind enough to tell me....thanks doc for all the wonderful news that you give us...you really are such a cheer and encouragement to our lives.